Sunday, July 20, 2008

We're Commissioned!

What a day! There was music, there was praising, tears and lots of laughter, more tears, and sharing by several men from the Word, and food, and yet more tears... I'm hoping the daughter, who videotaped it all, will be able to pull out the special music for some youtube action.

I can't begin to share all that's on my heart 'cause this ole heart is full and overflowing :-) But as wonderful and exciting as this day has been, this morning?... well, I just wanted to hide out in the bathroom and cry. The great big heaving sobbing kind of crying.

'Cause I was homesick before I even left.

Just knowing this was our last Sunday at Countryside was enough to set me off. As soon as I arrived and started setting up our display I could feel the pricks of tears seeping out no matter how hard I tried to keep them in.

I don't like to cry in public.

In fact it's almost an obsession, this not crying in public. Usually in situations where other people (normal people) cry, I shed not one tear. Or worse, I laugh. Yes, you read that right, LAUGH when I should be crying.

So you know it's bad when the tears will not be held back. So I slipped into the last stall in the ladies room and just let'er rip. Didn't even try to hold back, rolling off more and more (and more!) toilet paper to sop up the mess of tears. And wondered how in the world I was ever going to make it through sharing my testimony in the Sunday school hour, to say nothing of the actual commissioning service afterward.

I prayed. Prayed hard! And God answered my prayers. Although there was tear seepage (duh!) it was manageable. Praise the Lord!

The one time I really broke down during the testimony time was when I tried to share that I can't even think about leaving my kids without crying, and that today was especially hard because it was our last Sunday with our church family. But it was okay, and I noticed many other tear-streaked faces as well. So I was in good company.

And I'd write more but I have one of those cried-too-much-headaches and need to take a break before the youth group arrives in a couple of hours. We're sharing with them tonight, and hoping to challenge them to be open to doing whatever God has for them.

A little deja vu because that's what we were doing back in 2000 and God used it to convict US and we ended up in Uganda for a year which led to this whole process and now we're leaving for Argentina in 26 days!

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